Dear Lalaibeii (https://www.deviantart.com/lalaibeii)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped with George Bush and his wife and I saw you drive out Manchester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that your Honda sucks. I'm returning your old lottery tickets to you but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break our friendship.
Go and drown yourself,
-Kurolyte (aka your adopted daughter)